Death of a PUPPY DOG!!

A grim subject, I know. Some of you might find the title alone to be very appalling. But I gotta write what I gotta write.

I'm not your typical dog admirer. I mean, sure I can admire them when they are tied with a leash to some part of the house and don't come anywhere close to me. I know its cruel, to keep a dog tied always... not letting it have any freedom. I am not cruel. I'm just plain scared of them. When visiting family friends or relatives, I demand that the dog be confined to a place away from me. I'm sure the dogs must hate me.

I hadn't always been like that. I mean, living in a joint family, my cousins had dogs...Tiger, Sheroo... and I had played with them as a kid. I guess what got me scared of them was when one of them, sort of ALMOST bit me. I was playing around as usual and one of them just got violent for a second. If not for my brothers, I think I would have got the injections on that day.

So there ended any sort of comfort I had with the canines. That has been the case ever since. And astonishingly, I don't seem to scared of the street dogs. Its only the pet ones. Wierd huh?? I know.

A few days ago, as my mom went towards her car to leave some relatives to the station, we noticed this puppy dog underneath her car. It was yelping, crying for help maybe. It seemed discomforted by something. Just wouldn't budge, no matter how hard we tried. With a lot of difficulty, my uncle managed to get it out but even so, it came out yelping real loud. It kept looking at us and crying... maybe asking for help, but we proceeded to our routine.

When all of us got back home and retired for the night, I could still hear it crying in the middle of the night. My room was filled with the sounds of the dog and I slept that night commenting, "Oh this bloody dog is ruining my sleep". And so, I dont remember when I slumped into my slumber.

I woke up the next morning, a sunday, pretty tired. Did the morning routine and then Mom sent me over to our neighbours to find out something. As I left the gate, a gory sight met my eyes. I will never forget that. The puppy dog laid there dead, just across the window from my room.

A lifeless body. An already decaying body. I just froze there... hoping half scared that I might see a movement..some movement. For the very first time in years I think, I was not scared of a dog. I wanted to see it alive. I really did. I stood there and couldn't see any movement. I didn't know what else to do. I went back inside to my home and told my Mom about what I had seen.

I cried and said, "The poor thing was asking for help maybe, it was crying all night and I was cursing it. Now its no more." I just went back to my room and sat there near the window, just looking at it. Mom meanwhile asked the caretakers of our colony to have it buried somewhere, properly.

As I sat watching for a while, I suddenly saw another dog come up to it and sniff the puppy. I thought to myself, "Oh god No, please don't eat it". I was about to rush down to shoo the other dog away when I saw it leave by its own.

The other dog, all grown, went to the empty plot in front of ours.... went sniffing for a while and finally stopped at one point. To my amazement, it started digging with its paws at a violent pace. This scene was just too much for me. I just couldn't control my tears and moved away from there, choosing to do something else, divert my mind and keep myself busy with something else.

I wanted to ignore the death of the puppy dog. How rude of me!!! My cowardice!!

I managed to sum up a little courage and returned to my window. The colony caretakers hadn't yet started on their job. But the other dog already had. It managed to drag the puppy dog towards the other end of the road, to a safe corner and was still digging. I wondered, was it the puppy dog's mother???

We left in the afternoon to visit some more relatives and returned only later in the night. I don't know what became of the two dogs-- who buried the puppy dog. I didnt even ask. But none of them were there. The next morning I couldn't locate the spot where the dog was digging. Neither could I locate that particular dog in the colony.

It got me thinking again about how indifferent we can be towards suffering...of Humans as well as that of the animals....and realise our errors only when its too late. I wouldn't like to give a moral or anything here. I just wanted to tell a story of my experience...the story of a cute puppy dog, who now lays somewhere across from me.

More Dedications...

Looks like you guys (the ones reading my blog.. OBVIOUSLY) aren't gonna hear the end of my dedicated blogs for quite a while now. So, here's an important addition to my list. And I would also like to take my opportunity and apologise for being so lazy, and dedicating the blogs the next day after the "dedicated's" birthday. Here comes one more...

Aparna a.k.a Appu, big sister. I'm supposed to call her Appu didi, but I ALWAYS found it hard to call her that. Neither was she ever comfortable being referred to as so. Appu is my eldest cousin sister from my father's side. She,her bro Richie and her parents, Sari bua and Reggie fufa have lived in various parts of the country over a quarter of a decade. So Appu's visits to Hyderabad were very scattered and not so often, at least that's what I remember of us as kids.

In Hyderabad, I lived in a large joint family (as explained in earlier blogs) and the boys outnumbered the girls. Nine boys to four girls. Naturally, all the sisters were a pampered lot. I thought, back then, that I was the "most loved" of us all. All that seemed to change, whenever Appu came home. She commanded the attention of all the brothers, and I guess that's when I was first introduced to the seeds of jealousy.

I still remember all the nasty things I did, to torment Appu. No need for me to explain those in detail. I think Appu remembers those too, so lets keep those between us. As a kid, I always thought me and Appu could NEVER get along. I thought we'll fight like the Hindi Soap queens that we see in the Television these days. I have no shame in saying that, I was a total jerk then and Appu NEVER said anything to me. Of course, I was given a dose of my own medicine when I went to her place in Aurangabad once (she wasn't there... I guess she was studying some place else). Richie, her bro, behaved in the same way that I behaved with her. That's the first time I felt what she must've been feeling. I felt ashamed of my behaviour and vowed to change, to eradicate the monster of jealousy.

Years passed, we started getting along fine. She started on her hotel management course, her visits to Hyderabad became frequent. That's when I had the chance to know Appu, the person rather than Appu, my sister. On one occassion, about five years ago, me and Appu went to spend the night at my maternal grandmother's place.

We just laid there and spoke for hours together. We spoke of our childhood together, about how she felt back then. I remember taking the chance and apologising for the first time, for the way I had behaved with her as kids. We shared some good memories, some bad.... and I thought that was when we really spoke heart-to-heart for the first time.

Appu landed a job, her visits became less frequent again. But I looked forward to her coming everytime, so did my parents. My mom and dad totally adore her. Then she went to Singapore a few years ago, for further studies.

We stayed in touch, thanks to the internet, and kept ourselves updated of the events taking place in our life. I came to know that she has found her soulmate, and now she'd be getting married pretty soon.

Her parents, my parents met Kalyan's(read soulmate :P) family. And it was decided that they'll become Man and wife in the last week of April 2008, date yet to be announced. The feeling is yet to sink in for all of us, as we are starting to plan out the wedding. Gosh I'm so excited!!!

Appu's dad is at our place as I write this blog. This morning, we sat down and decided who's gonna do what. He told me how he liked things organised (which I know of already :P). We were counting how many people would DEFINITELY attend the wedding, how he proposed the other arrangements be made, the arrangements regarding gifts and shopping...EVERYTHING. We are running out of time.

We said the feeling isn't yet sinking in as both the bride and groom are in Singapore and we might probably not get to see them two-three days before the wedding. But I guess, all of us are geared up to make the wedding a grand success. All of us feel really happy about it. ABOVE ALL, Appu is the one who's happiest and that's what all of us here want for her.

Now to talk a little more about the groom. Kalyan. Boy Genius... :P Well, I'd say he's one of the nicest person I've met and I think is totally PERFECT for Appu. Appu is a very warm hearted person, she's the most beautiful person I know, inside out. I'm not saying this cos she's my sister. And Kalyan is equally nice as her. We've met him just once but everyone gave him a BIG THUMBS UP. Okay Kalyan, I'm not gonna write in more about you. YOU'RE TERRIFIC.... :) That should sum it all.

In the end, to conclude, I just want to say that you guys are just the perfect couple and I'm wishing you all the luck in life ahead. I can't wait for April now.... gonna do full DHAMAAL :P

And Appu, thanks for being such a wonderful sister. And a wonderful human being. Love you loads!!! ;)

BELATED BIRTHDAY WISHES.... :)

P.S. You guys... I'm coming there in September to eat your head. Kalyan, I hope my table is ready :P

P.P.S. I had finished writing this blog two days ago. I wanted to put up a pic of Appu that I had until a few days ago. I had kept it for safe-keeping...looks like I was extra careful with it and now can't seem to locate where I hid it :(( Will put it up once I get it...the photo-hunt is ON... :P I hope u guys din't mind me stealing this pic ;)

Pursuit of Happiness

I now know how it feels like to have half a doze of happiness. You all probably know that I've been pursuing the Chartered Accountancy course for the last 4 years. All was fine, hunky-dory until I was doing my graduation. I was adamant to be known as CA Smriti Srivastava, in a few years.


Once I was done with my graduation, while most of my peers took up jobs, I decided against it. I wanted to concentrate on clearing my CA PE2 exam. It is the second level of the CA course and I tried hard for two years. Under the scheme that I was in, I couldn't start my articleship(internship) unless I clear my PE2 exam. We were supposed to have a maximum of five attempts and I managed to clear only one group out of two in a total of five attempts.

I thought this was the end of my CA journey. Maybe I wasn't destined to be a CA after all. I joked with friends after the results and said my resume will read "Semi-CA INTER" in educational qualifications. I put up a happy face, saying it doesn't matter. This is the end of it all. I won't be known as CA Smriti Srivastava, EVER.

As I sat pondering over all the things I gave up for this course, I got a call from one of my friends. She said there might be a way out of all this. In previous courses, as well as in the new scheme of things, there wasn't any restriction on the attempts. It was only our batch which got stuck with the attempts scheme. She said she'll monster support from all friends of our batch who discontinued or are still continuing to do the course, as well as some CA's too. They would sign a petition for people like me who got stuck with clearing just one group, and for a chance to give us an additional attempt.

I got back home, talked to that friend and also other CAs I knew. We thought, "There has got to be some way out of all this". I went to the local branch of the ICAI in Hyderabad the following day, and sought to find a way out for me. I wanted to find a ray of hope. Just anything. And for the first time in years, the lucky stars shone on me.

I could switch to the new scheme and write another group that is pending, in the May 2008 exam. I would have to register myself with a CA firm as an articled clerk for a period of three years. If everything goes well, I could be a CA by 2010. Two more years. When I've come this distance, I wanted to complete my journey. Another two years wouldn't matter for this journey. It will all be worth it.

The sadness of it all-- My father isn't happy with my decision to pursue this. He doesn't think I can do it. He doesn't say it but I know my dad. Actions speak louder than words. I have bowed down a lot to family pressure, but I guess now no more. This is my life, I will live it the way I choose it. I will be held responsible for my actions. I know I'm taking a risk, but you don't gain anything by playing safe all the time. This is my happiness.

I think I am more confident than EVER. I know as a result I won't be able to do things that I wanted to the time i'm 24, cos I would still be studying then. But I know, life will begin after that. The kind of life I want, the kind I imagined.

I will still be here for the next few years, blogging, on the ups and downs of it all. And needless to say, in a few years my profile information WILL read CA SMRITI SRIVASTAVA. I promise. I promise PAPA!!!

Peace!!!!!