Tamasha

Finally managed to watch Tamasha today, and boy! Last time a movie haunted me so much was Dev D (although that one was another level. I remember coming back from the theatre thinking "What on earth was that?" and waking up next morning like I'd just woken up from a drug induced sleep. But, back to Tamasha).

It seems like a very ambitious, yet flawed way to look at existential crisis, but isn't life flawed too? I'm no critic or someone who has deep understanding about movies. They either stay with me, or they don't.

Tamasha stays with me only because of Ranbir. Unlike him, I have had a lovely and supportive family that always gave me the space to take any road I wanted. For most of my life, I've dreamt of taking the one less traveled but until now, I'm still on a journey which doesn't quite lead me to the destination I want to reach. The Asterix in Corsica kind of motivation seems long forgotten.

There's a scene when Ranbir tells his parents that he's been jobless for six months and his dad admonishes him saying those who don't have any problems in life , will create a problem for themselves. I've been told something similar many a times. That I wallow in self-pity and blame others for my life. The thing is, like Jude Law in The Holiday, I'm a weeper. I cry for the smallest of things. I cry when I'm hungry. I cry when I'm happy. I cry when I'm sad. But that's just me.

Anyways, coming back from the detours and continuing the journey - I've opted for the 'safe bets' far too long and in the process forgotten myself. Forgotten what I like or want. I watch and re-watch Ken Robinson's TED Talk and wonder about my 'Element' and why it all seems so hazy. When it was, in fact, my own decisions that got me here.

I feel anger, frustration, disappointment - just like Ranbir. I hurt loved ones by words or actions - just like Ranbir. Somewhere, his character resonates so much, it just numbs down every emotion and forces me to look deeper within.

Maybe dig out that girl who used to wake up at 5 AM for a live broadcast on Discovery, of the excavation of a mysterious tomb in Egypt.

Or find that person who watched every episode of The Amazing Race, not for the tasks or to cheer teams, but to look at cultures and people across the world and dream about going to those places.

Or just become that girl who felt like writing a blog because she wanted to. Well, at least, here's a start.

Blood Bonding and Beyond

I've loved you even before I could understand what it meant to be an 'elder sister'. You were my precious ever since I could remember your existence in my life.

Sitting next to you, adjusting your blanket while you were asleep (even if it were perfectly in place :P), waiting for you to wake up so that I could hold your milk  bottle up to feed you - you gave me my first sense of 'being mommy and doing mommy duties' very early on.

You're also the bravest person I've known - remember how you came back from the doctor's place and told me without blinking that he/she removed that infection on your hand with a knife (I think?). There I was getting scared of putting a needle through my veins and you went ahead and did this. Whoa moment for me - you'd grown up!


All these years, we've had so many fights, patch ups, growing apart and getting back closer than ever - how fast did these 25 years pass with you around? When did you become this amazing woman who has been putting everyone ahead of you so selflessly and tirelessly? Where do you find the courage and strength to push yourself every time? You're a wonder woman and I hope you do realize how amazingly wonderful you are and how much we all love you!

I wish we could've done a little more for today. But zindagi abhi shuru Hi hui hai mere dost :P I promise you, life will get a lot more awesome ahead and we'll do everything we'd planned. You're going to get more than Barney level awesome :P I've never dedicated a post to you because I'm too senti about you reading it and reliving old times but I guess now's the best time to do it.

I love you Jolls. We all adore you to the moon and back, baby sis. Happy 25th and may all your dreams come true. Stay awesome and jolly good always. :*

An Open Letter to Army in Secunderabad Cantonment

Dear 'Top Officials' in Secunderabad Cantonment,

How's it going? I'm sure you are facing a tough time answering civilians about vehicular movement in our, sorry, your area. I'd like to apologize on their behalf. These civilians , including my parents, don't understand your predicament. As a civilian living in the cantonment limits, please allow me to justify your decisions to other civilian-kinds.

So listen up, all you civilian residents of Secunderabad Cantonment:

Reasons for road blockades
1. Hit and Run Cases
Civilians, you drive recklessly in the cantonment. Just because the congestion of city traffic doesn't allow you to test the horse power on your vehicle, doesn't mean you go to the cantonment and drive recklessly. Only military trucks and families of these personnel are allowed to do that in cantonment roads. Wait for my 9 month old son to grow up and he'll tell you how exhilarating it was to be almost sent off road by one of them trucks. We've never felt more patriotic. After all, this is how we all secretly want to die, don't we?

2. The Stress of Crossing the road
You know all about it, right? Trying to cross the road without being run over? Yeah. Same logic. If our jawans cannot contain traffic in their areas, how do you expect them to cross the road to go and train? This is a serious matter of national importance. Please let them cross the road. You all can take other routes and by lanes. Now go!

3. Porous area and security
Security of military installations is of utmost importance. Even you will admit this. The army has to prevent civilians like us from getting lost in the huge cantonment, getting frustrated and being a threat to military installations. After all, if civilians like my parents, who do not remember the route to their own homes aren't a threat, then who are?

4. Cannot compromise military security for civilian inconvenience
You civilians are so petty. You're just driving to and fro your workplace, stuck in hours of traffic everyday, to get to your 9-5 jobs. You call it a struggle? You've got to do what you've got to do and earn money. If you don't earn and pay taxes, how will you be able to fund for your security and peace of mind? So stop whining and drive a few extra kilometers everyday through the potholed roads, get back to work and pay taxes until you retire.

Please allow me, dear top officials, to offer some solace to my fellow civilians.

Here's a Civilian idiots guide to surviving the Secunderabad cantonment road blockade:
1. Get essential services like gas agencies, supermarkets, water tankers etc. to sign up for Amazon's drone delivery to your doorstep. How cool is that? Problem solved.

2. Plant more Money Plants (coz money just doesn't grow on trees). That will solve your growing expenses of paying for your fuel that you will incur taking longer routes. Saving on natural reserves? What's for? Don't worry. We'll all soon be rich to just bomb an oil rich country.

3. Addendum to point 2, if you are getting a pay hike, keep it aside for taxes. Don't account for fuel expenses in these as you will pay taxes to keep the defense allocation going. Just remember CORC - Conquer Oil Rich Countries.

4. Is a Loved one unwell? Need to rush to the hospital? Stressed about how EMRI Ambulances will reach you? Worry not. Hire Batman in case of medical emergencies. I'd suggest others but Batman is the best. He's got a pretty cool bat mobile - just the right vehicle for emergencies.

5. Got no time to take care of your house, since you are spending more time now commuting? Give your house on rent to an army officer. They get truckload of help. You're not wanted in "their" area anyways.

6. If you are going to miss seeing the beautiful cantonment, befriend an army officer or their family. They'll show you around without you even asking to. Security? What's security between children of defense personnel and their civilian friends!

If even these things don't help, don't go back to Andhra Sub area on your weekend, to fight over a Rs.20 sticker pass for your vehicle's entry in the cantonment. Drop me a mail and I'll send you a cool ”TORMENTED CIVILIAN” sticker that you can proudly stick on your vehicle. Free of cost. *offer valid only for civilians living in the cantonment*

There. I hope I've helped you army guys a little bit. Now please go cross the roads in peace.

Yours Sincerely,
A Tormented Civilian