Well, earlier this month Nithin Jayan told me that his birthday falls on 30th May...and he'll be a major now officially...

Well today's the 30th....and here''s wishing Nithin a very very very very HAPPPYYYYYYYYYY BIRTHDAY!!!!

HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY AND YEAR AHEAD...and keep writing those amazing blogs....

Here's to the wittiest Medico I know ;)

CHEERS!!!! Now that you are a 'MAJOR'

Somethings cost more than you realise!!

Now that I have plenty of free time to waste, since work begins only on June 1st, I have been doing a lot of TV watching and book reading. Was watching VH1 the other day and heard this song by Radiohead. An MTV initiative, puts a lot of things into perspective.

Unfortunately, such videos and initiatives come and go, but the under-lying problem remains unchanged. You and I have had a blessed childhood. But when you think about children around the world, who are being treated as nothing more than machines, lured into prostitution, deprived of a normal childhood, your heart goes out to them. Suddenly, your life seems so rosy.

Since this is an MTV campaign to raise awareness and increase prevention of human trafficking and exploitation, I thought I'd put it up for you guys to read it and spread this video across. You can put it up on your blogs too and just spread this really touching video.


Today it rained....

It seemed to rain everywhere...Delhi, Kolkatta, Bangalore...and I was wondering aloud why it doesnt rain here.

As a kid, I had a theory. It is not supposed to rain in summers. To my amazement, and if you may call it a co-incidence, it so happened that it rained everytime I cried my heart out. Only in summers. Dadi used to say, "See, the gods are crying with you. They can see your pain and they are telling you, you are not alone. Now stop crying or there'll be floods." I thought myself to be a rain goddess of sorts. The things that we think as kids. :)

Anyways, so last night I was chatting with Alok and he said it was raining in Bangalore. Oh how I wished it rained here too. As with me, mood swings have been a norm lately and yesterday night, I let the flood-gates open, FINALLY. I tried in vain to sleep. I managed to get some sleep in the end and woke up with swollen eyes.... Mom asked, "Didnt you sleep last night?". Not very well Ma.

As I exited my room, I could smell the cool fresh air of the earth awash with rain. I was instantly struck with the thoughts of my childhood and my grandma. I did my morning routine of preparing breakfast and getting Mom's tiffin from outside. I stepped out of the house to find that it has started to rain...I got the tiffin, came back home and off I went to the terrace.

I stood there amidst the sudden downpour. I told Alok last night, "the rain seems to wash away all the worry from my head". And so it did today, yet again. I stood in the rain and I cried and I cried. I cried for everything I'd lost, I cried for being such a fool, I cried over something I never had....I just cried. The rain stopped, as suddenly as it had started. I heard a voice, it was my own. It said, "Enough of crying now... You are not alone. There are millions like you. Here are the million tear drops from heaven. You are not alone...You are not alone. Stop crying now!".

And I did. I waited a few minutes on the terrace, lest mom should see through me and this time the reddenned eyes would betray me. I stood there for a few minutes and the heaven sent me another message.... "The sun has risen, so must you".

The first ray of bright sunshine hit my forehead and said, "Lets make your life 'BRIGHTER THAN SUNSHINE' shall we?". And so... I'm gonna do it my way!

P.S. Diva, my sunshine... as always, gives me my first smiles of a totally pathetic morning. Now I know I hava a brighter day in store, thanks to the virtual HUGS and SMILES. Mwah!! Love you!!

Carry You home...

I just found out , to my amazement, that not too many people have heard of James Blunt. And those who have heard, some of them dont like his songs much. Well I THINK he's an amazing song writer and he puts a lot of heart into his songs. This one is one of his more recent works and I think is one of his best ones till date. Have fun listening! :)

Trouble is her only friend and he's back again.
Makes her body older than it really is.
She says it's high time she went away,
No one's got much to say in this town.
Trouble is the only way is down.
Down, down.
As strong as you were, tender you go.
I'm watching you breathing for the last time.
A song for your heart, but when it is quiet,I know what it means and I'll carry you home.
I'll carry you home.
If she had wings she would fly away,
And another day God will give her some.
Trouble is the only way is down.
Down, down.
As strong as you were, tender you go.
I'm watching you breathing for the last time.
A song for your heart, but when it is quiet,I know what it means and I'll carry you home.
I'll carry you home.
And they were all born pretty in New York City tonight,
And someone's little girl was taken from the world tonight,
Under the Stars and Stripes.
As strong as you were, tender you go.
I'm watching you breathing for the last time.
A song for your heart, but when it is quiet,I know what it means and I'll carry you home.
I'll carry you home.

P.S---This has nothing to do with my present frame of mine. Just thought it was a really beautiful song! :) And yes... I am better now!! :)


I was gonna pen a love song of my own....but then I felt, Danny Bedingfield has already written exactly what my heart wants to say right now. If you are reading this....which I know you aren't, this is what I feel right now. Love you forever.

If your not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If your not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We will make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I dont want to run away but I cant take it, I dont understand
If I am not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I dont need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I dont need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If your not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If your not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I dont know why your so far away
But I know that this much is true
We will make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in your the one I build my home with

I hope I love you all my life

I dont want to run away but I cant take it, I dont understand
If I am not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
Cause I love you, whether its wrong or right
And though I cant be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side

I dont want to run away but I cant take it, I dont understand
If I am not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

Life's Lessons!!

I had a dream, maybe it is god's way of reminding me that its not so easy to let go of the past. Especially a past for which you should be ashamed of. Sometimes you do things that are beyond your own understanding capabilities. You hurt the ones you care for the most. Why do we do that?? Why do we have to hurt someone whom we absolutely and terribly cannot dream of living our lives without? And then, when its too late, things still dont make any sense.

I had a dream, about someone who's always been there for me, who's always protected me, has been my guardian angel for so long that I cant even recall. He was the smartest, funniest and the best person I've known. He still is all that to me. And a month ago, I cut him out of my life, simply because I was scared of hurting him further. He is a self-proclaimed "punching bag", as he calls himself. The thing is, even punching bags burst someday, and I think I stretched him to the limit. And when I was entering one of the worst phases of my life, I decided that I dont want to hurt him anymore. He is someone who genuinely cared, maybe still does, and he will not admit it, but sometimes it feels that he'll be much better off without me.

People used to say I am a good friend. That was four years ago. I am not the same person I was back then. A lot has changed around me. A lot has changed within me. For the worse. Sometimes I go into the forgidden territory and look back to what I was and what I have become now. I try too hard to go back to old times, be the old me, but the new me is so powerful that it defeats the old me without a whimper.

Future is what scares me sometimes. Only my "punching bag" had a complete idea of what goes inside this stupid, naive brain of mine. I cut a lot of people from my life, who called themselves my "friends", but never really cared. I didnt regret that decision. But my punching bag. I thought what I did was for his own good. He does not deserve my occassional blasting. He always took it with a pinch of salt and finally hit a point when he started to lose his cool, occassionally, not always. But he always stood by me.

I dont know if I am making any sense now. I dont even know why I am writing this. Maybe coz I had a dream, and dreams are supposed to be a sub-conscious state of what you are thinking while you are awake. The other day, while driving back home, mom asked me, "How come you don't talk of him anymore?". I was silent. "Is everything ok??". I said "Yes". Maybe she noticed me struggling to wipe off tears, and she did not prod further. He did not deserve the treatment I gave him. He has always been one of the most important peices of the jig-saw puzzle that is my life, but let's say for the time being I hid the piece coz I had handled it so badly that it was tearing at the ends. Maybe I am being protective, maybe I am being stupid, as always. But as he always said, "It has always been you who has decided how our relationship goes".

I dont want to be the one who hurts you anymore and I think you are better off without me in your life. Am I better of without you? ....... I dont find myself equipped with answering that, coz till now I thought this was for the best for both of us. But if it was, why do tear drops dampen my cheeks as I write this?? Why do I feel like the most loathesome creature when I hear your name?? Why do I still look at your name is my cell phone when I feel really low and I need some strength??

I dont know the answers to all this. But I know one thing for sure. I am not willing to be the one who hurts you anymore. I dint think I can live with that. Saying THANK YOU will be an insult to whatever you have done for me. I hope and wish for the best things for you and... I am finally out of words.....and if this ends abruptly, let it be so. Coz every story doesnt have an ending. Maybe ours doesnt either...and I'm hopeful that its still being written.

Two months....Almost!!!

Gosh, I cant believe I've been out of action all these days. :(( I wasnt gonna write today either but then when I visited my blog I said, "Hey, its awefully long since I wrote about anything...chhaa!!!"

I am running a slight temperature and tomorrow will be my last exam. Its burning hot here and I've started to look like the charred remains of one Ms.Smriti Srivastava. So, lets get started once again then :)

It was my birthday on 3rd May...I turned 22....Yay!!! :D

I hadn't expected much since exams were coming up and I had got used to getting my birthday ruined last three years running...all coz of exams. I thought this year will be a similar affair, with me sitting in my room and studying. No friends to meet. No celebrations. No cake cutting (although I dont like the whole cake cutting funda...its mandatory as a family tradition...will explain soon). And No gifts.

I share my birthday with an aunt of mine (Kanak Bua) and we have been celebrating our birthday together for ages now...well 21 years to be exact :P. Big brother Rahul and everyone else in the family insisted we meet up at Kanak bua's place and just have a quiet dinner. All arrangements were made. Food, Ice-cream, cake...etc etc and people to eat all that stuff.

Things turned out very different to what I had expected. After a long time, Divya was with me on my birthday, and I think she got a little bored coz "the family" wanted a piece of me, every other minute. It was good to have Divya there with me coz only we know why. :)

The whole family gathered, including a new almost-member of the family. To-be-Jeejaji Rahul (yes, another Rahul), fiance of my cousin Maneesha, was in attendance with the regulars. The cakes were cut...two separate cakes for me and bua. Now we come to the tradition. Even when there's one birthday, two cakes are ordered anyways. Coz everyone grabs a little cake and smears it one the faces of the nearest person they can find. I escaped everytime, but today was not to be. Rahul Jeejaji the culprit painted my face with the cake and I tell you, I'd rather have it in my mouth than on my face.

Divya wanted to join in and put some on my face too but when I said no, she retracted. You'll have more occassions to do that Diva ;) I put a lil cake on her though....like a tilak :P

So all in all, this was the first birthday I hadnt been looking forward to and I enjoyed the most. Didnt need any gifts, had the happiest of times with my entire family and spent quality time with a dear friend. What else does one want on their birthday??? :)

Oh yes, I did get a few gifts...but the best one was by an orkut friend who wrote in "Hey Happy Birthday...Just a gift...You should be called "Kimriti" from now on" :D :) :) I couldn't stop the smiles all day.

Just wanted to post something so started out with this. Now I hope you will remember Kimriti's birthday...right??? :D
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