You are my eyes, when I cant seem to see the obvious

You are my smile, when my lips refuse to twitch

You are my voice, when I am short of words

You bring me hope, when It seems oh so out-of-stock

You touch my heart, with every little thing that you do

You are my reason, to look forward to a brand new day

You are my dream, the most beautiful I've ever seen

You are my reality, when I cant seem to draw lines to truth

You are my thought, every time I hear a love song

You are the closest I feel, to that feeling they call Love

You are my Mr.Perfect, and I hope you'll always be just that

You make me feel more alive than I could ever feel

You give me the sense of comfort, a feeling of coming home

You are my inspiration, my motivation..

You are perfect being YOU...and I am so thankful to god, Knowing you.

And I apologise, But I cant stop being head over heels in love with you.


From my Sister's heart... :)

This is something my Kid sister wrote for me today (Well she's 17...but she'll always be the most adorable "kid" I know :P), While I was on phone with Ashish for over an hour, discussing my future plans. And Oh!! I couldn't clear my second group in CA exams...and funnily, I dont feel any disappointment at all. :)

So cut to the point, I have my TCMS exam on 1st August...and it feels so...right... :) Anyways, lemme hand it over to my sis Deepti ..a.k.a JOLLY..and this is what she wrote for me....

Its good to know that while there is an absolute barrage of people shouting at me for taking up journalism, I am happy that I have many people in my life who think the way my sister does... :) Love you all..Love you Joll :P

I am so Proud of you sis.
I know when I will tell you this, this is what the conversation will go:
Me: I am so Proud of you sis!
Sis: Proud? What for? "cause of failing in my CA exam? (wid a laugh n probably a raised eyebrow!)
Me: umm yeah, but Datz secondary issue. I am proud that you are not "COMPROMISING" with your dreams and you are doing something you love a lot. Instead of comfort, you're choosing the hard way round. Instead of givning money the first priority, you're giving satisfaction as your number one priority. .. Now I remember that Shahrukh Khan saying "Don't be Sanutsht! Thoda Aur Wish Karo, Dish Karo!"
People will surely say you to be practical, and they might think you're just being a baby and still dreaming of things.
But I believe you sis. I know how serious you are for this course, and I believe it that one day you will surely make Dad Proud.
I know Dad is a bit upset at all this now, but girl, you're doing the right thing. When you finally like something, you should go for it and achieve it.
All these words of wisdom, I don't need to tell you, gal, 'cause it's all the things that I gained from you. It's like Mera dialogue mujh par hi!
But still, listening to your conversation on the phone, I was so damn proud of you. Listening you about your plans, I really believed that you are now ready to FLY! And I believe it, you CAN do it! For the first time, I think, after a long time, I am whole heartedly and pure heartedly wishing that you get into this line of your dreams!
Hehehehe...Cmon deeds, what do you think, I am a great writer, eh?? Wake up! I am still a kid at heart and brain! But I am smarter than A 5th Grader.So this is all you're gonna get. I Can do it better than this, but a bit Lazy you know! So neglect my writings, and appreciate my feelings!! Waah! Kyaa Dialogue Maara Maine!!

No more...!!

Its been TEN years since I last saw you...and I remember you just like I did back then.

You've never really left me..even though I never wanted to step on the same piece of land you walked on. In these Ten years, my mind has thought of you at least Ten Million times. And you have managed to scare me every single of those times.

Ten years ago, you thought I was too innocent to understand what went in your mind. You were the most pervert person I'd met. You scared me out of my wits. You made me lose my trust. You made me doubt myself.

You made me feel like everything was my fault. I thought I was to be blamed for enticing you. You made me lose my self respect, my existence and my happiness. I was 11 and you were 22. Did I get those right?? Yes I did!!

Ten years on, you continued to scare me. Every single thought of you, a mere mention of your name sent me dizzying into fits of anxiety attacks. Your presence was oblivious physically and I did a good job avoiding running into you all these years. But you were with me in a more dangerous way. In my thoughts EVERY time I befriended someone from the opposite sex. You refused to leave me...maybe I didnt let you go.

Ten years on, one Thursday afternoon my phone rang. Unsuspectingly I picked up the call, and turned pale. It was you. Ten years on, you wanted to meet. For the first time, I wasn't JUST scared. For the first time I was scared and angry. And I was tired of being scared. You wanted to meet and I wanted to face you.

After Ten years,I met you. You looked just as I had remember. Ten years on, except your weight and an attitude that you had put on, everything else remained the same. You were the same person I remembered.

I had frozen you in a time frame. A long time frame of 10 years. You were still the 22 year old guy I'd had been for a long time. Except that now, you were 32. Married. Had two beautiful kids (God bless them....and I mean it!!). But the way you spoke, gave you away as the same person I'd known back then.

Inside, you were the same creep I'd known back then. I had come to take my revenge, but you made me feel worse about meeting you. I felt I should've listened to my friends and stayed away from you. Let by-gones be By-gones. But I didnt. I did what my mind said..and I was hurt once again.

Dreams act in a strange manner sometimes. They can jolt you, show you the most beautiful things and some not so beautiful ones too. But they are indispensible. After many nights of feeling hopeless and helpless, I managed to find some sleep. I think it was important...that night...that I finally get some clarity. And I did.

It was no use keeping you in my life now. You don't belong here. You never did. I was too naive to understand that you don't deserve a place in my thought process. And you cannot rule my mind untill I let you do so...which I have...infact... been doing thus far.

I have decided. I am throwing you out of my life. Coz you deserve nothing better. Just get the hell out...I dont care about your existence and you are not important to me. You are a pervert, a sick man...I sure hope that life doesn't come a full circle for you and you don't get in return what you gave me. You have a family, two beautiful children and I wouldn't want three more lives destroyed for your sins.

All I want to say is, as I write this...I am gonna be more stronger..coz I am letting it all go. You dont control me anymore. And I will not let you ruin my life further. So goodbye were the one person I hated more than any single thing on this earth. Now I know you don't deserve to be hated by me either.

Today I stand up for myself, for my life and for my happiness and tell you... NO MORE!!

You and Me...

Yet another promise made. Yet another broken. "See you on sunday, I'll be at your door, and let's go for a long drive...You and me...two best buds".

Sundays come and sundays go. I never find the one you mentioned. Flashback to saturday nights,an SMS, "Are you coming for sure tomorrow?".

Your SMS comes the next afternoon, "Sorry couldn't make it... had to go with friends to XYZ resort". And a few sundays later, I know how each sunday will pass by.

Another sunday comes knocking. And I wake up with a "Hello, good morning, how are you?". Funnily enough, you never call. Its always an SMS. I can't complain coz I lived my life with you through the SMS boom.

Flashback 12 years ago, when I first saw you in the school play. The most adorable kid I'd ever seen. A few days hence, you transformed from the kid in the play, to my naughty, goofy first crush. Then you became my closest friend. You beared me for 4 years before there was a lull. Two years hence, we were back to being best buds again.

In all these years, you suffered my 3Ts - "Terrible Temper Tantrums", without ever being rude to me. I dont know how you do it. Then we reached a point where it all boils down to selfishness. You were busy and so was I. You never complained and I never left an opportunity to make you feel worse about not giving time to your best friend. Soon, our meeting was a twice yearly event - Your birthday and Mine.

Even though we live in the same city, 25kms apart, for 365 days a year.

That event was skipped this year when you failed to give me time on your birthday. And I howled mad at you.

Expectations started to cease. My trademard dialogue, "he'll be here even before I need him", was used more infrequently. But one thing never stopped amidst this. Your timing. Your SMS. It always came to me when I was down in my worse moments. Even before I could message you, I'd see a "Madam, how are you?". Even after all these years, you still know.

I have been fed too much on movies, and I worry I'd be scared of losing my best friend (thanks to Julia Roberts and "My Best Friend's Wedding"). When you get married, I guess it'll be the hardest and probably happiest day of my life. Yet I cannot recall the number of times this conversation went...

"Will you still be my best friend?"

"Of course I will!! Why do you even say that?"

"What if your wife objects to it?"

"I'll never marry a girl who cannot respect the special bond that you and I share. You have been an integral part of my life all these years and you'll continue to be for as long as I'm alive."

"But can you be so sure?"

"I'm sure I know "US" well enough to say that I can survive without eating but not without the 3Ts."

Laughter all around.

Zoom in to present day, last night. The inevitable question is asked yet again. A panicked and depressed soul speaks to her best friend, the same answers are repeated, but with more conviction than the last time. As usual. I go to sleep, leaving you asking me more questions... which remain unanswered.

The next morning, catastrophe. I need help and I dont have the contacts that I need. I know you do. I call you up and we set up a hurried meeting. You ask me to meet at so-and-so place. You pick me up and we reach the place where we need to go. As we wait in your car, you ask "You remember the date, place and time of our last meeting, dont you??". A smile flows with an ease, unknown for a long time. A smile is returned again.

The work done, we leave. As you drop me off to a convenient location from where I can resume my daily activities, you do something you've never done. And it's special. Your genuine smile reassures me that I'll have you in my life, no matter what. Your eyes have never lied to me ever in all these years. They bring in a kind of hope that seems to be running out ever so often.

And after all these years, your smile transports me back to that day 12 years ago, when your irresistable smile made me think, "How cute...I wish he was my friend?". Guess what? After 12 years, you are still my friend.....and as you say, till the very end. :)

Something new, Some great View...

Back again to reclaim my space on the blogosphere :) :) Been out of action for a long time, yet again. No explanations, no excuses. Back to business, Back to blogging.

So watched the idiot box at ease after a really long time. I did manage to catch the F1 races and the Wimbledon Final amidst the rotten schedule that I've worked up for myself. Anyways, coming to the point, watched an amazingly inspiring ad today ...really imaginative one too. Kudos to the brains behind this ad that keep your fingers away from the remote...that's a hard job you know :)

P.S. Even though Aamir is my favourite, I am extremely critical of his work. When I dont like something about him, I say so. But I think this is his best ad for me, till date. Here goes...

Be born everyday...
Aaj rockstar, kal Pilot..
And who knows what the day after.

Kabhi kisi anjaan station pe utar ke dekho
Kabhi kisi gumnaam sheher ka tikat katao
Doosro ki galatiyon se kya seekhna?
Make your own mistakes yaar

And never resemble your passport photo for more than three months
Har subah, shock your reflection

Bachpan mein to kya kuch nahi banna chaahte the
Why not today?
Be born everyday.

(I like the last part the most..dunno abt you) :)

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