No more...!!

Its been TEN years since I last saw you...and I remember you just like I did back then.

You've never really left me..even though I never wanted to step on the same piece of land you walked on. In these Ten years, my mind has thought of you at least Ten Million times. And you have managed to scare me every single of those times.

Ten years ago, you thought I was too innocent to understand what went in your mind. You were the most pervert person I'd met. You scared me out of my wits. You made me lose my trust. You made me doubt myself.

You made me feel like everything was my fault. I thought I was to be blamed for enticing you. You made me lose my self respect, my existence and my happiness. I was 11 and you were 22. Did I get those right?? Yes I did!!

Ten years on, you continued to scare me. Every single thought of you, a mere mention of your name sent me dizzying into fits of anxiety attacks. Your presence was oblivious physically and I did a good job avoiding running into you all these years. But you were with me in a more dangerous way. In my thoughts EVERY time I befriended someone from the opposite sex. You refused to leave me...maybe I didnt let you go.

Ten years on, one Thursday afternoon my phone rang. Unsuspectingly I picked up the call, and turned pale. It was you. Ten years on, you wanted to meet. For the first time, I wasn't JUST scared. For the first time I was scared and angry. And I was tired of being scared. You wanted to meet and I wanted to face you.

After Ten years,I met you. You looked just as I had remember. Ten years on, except your weight and an attitude that you had put on, everything else remained the same. You were the same person I remembered.

I had frozen you in a time frame. A long time frame of 10 years. You were still the 22 year old guy I'd met...you had been for a long time. Except that now, you were 32. Married. Had two beautiful kids (God bless them....and I mean it!!). But the way you spoke, gave you away as the same person I'd known back then.

Inside, you were the same creep I'd known back then. I had come to take my revenge, but you made me feel worse about meeting you. I felt I should've listened to my friends and stayed away from you. Let by-gones be By-gones. But I didnt. I did what my mind said..and I was hurt once again.

Dreams act in a strange manner sometimes. They can jolt you, show you the most beautiful things and some not so beautiful ones too. But they are indispensible. After many nights of feeling hopeless and helpless, I managed to find some sleep. I think it was important...that night...that I finally get some clarity. And I did.

It was no use keeping you in my life now. You don't belong here. You never did. I was too naive to understand that you don't deserve a place in my thought process. And you cannot rule my mind untill I let you do so...which I have...infact... been doing thus far.

I have decided. I am throwing you out of my life. Coz you deserve nothing better. Just get the hell out...I dont care about your existence and you are not important to me. You are a pervert, a sick man...I sure hope that life doesn't come a full circle for you and you don't get in return what you gave me. You have a family, two beautiful children and I wouldn't want three more lives destroyed for your sins.

All I want to say is, as I write this...I am gonna be more stronger..coz I am letting it all go. You dont control me anymore. And I will not let you ruin my life further. So goodbye forever...you were the one person I hated more than any single thing on this earth. Now I know you don't deserve to be hated by me either.

Today I stand up for myself, for my life and for my happiness and tell you... NO MORE!!

3 Observations:

  1. hahaha ...firsly i thought it was a lover wen i read it compltely i felt i misunderstod it in the beginin but the narating was quite cute...loved the parts like..



    ***Inside, you were the same creep I'd known back then.


    people wont change thei attitude ...even it was for 1000 years,heheh...

    ***I am throwing you out of my life. Coz you deserve nothing better. Just get the hell out...I dont care about your existence and you are not important to me

    this part tells how frustrate u feel abt the existence of the person within the surrouds of u...



    ***u dont control me anymore.

    its the feeling which control not the existence of the person around u..


    the total post tell how the feeling of a gal happens wen the past memory comes bac to life and try to take oevr it...lovely post loved it...

    lots of love...

    ur..hemu..

  1. Aparna said...:

    There are two posts so far that feels so familiar in ur blog, this i s the other one......well I realized in my past tat hate is killing me and the other person is not just worth of a fraction of my time, but it still takes an effort to remind myself that truth....
    The sooner the better....u did a best thing...Well done!

 
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