The "I" Tag

Found this tag on AQUA GURL's Blog...Self tagged myself, coz this is a really fun as well as challenging tag. I'm asking myself these questions...

I am - a dreamer
I think - all the time...even while asleep...working overtime here people :P
I want- satisfaction from everything I do
I have - an ever growing collection of books :P
I wish - I wasnt as possessive as I am
I hate - the word HATE...too strong a word for me...though I like the word DISLIKE
I miss- my Grandmother
I fear - fear itself
I feel - a sense of happiness when I realise I have a strong support system of friends and family members
I hear - whatever my sis makes me hear....she's owns the remote these days.. :)
I search - for peace of mind
I wonder - If I can EVER be satisfied with ANYTHING
I regret- losing control over my life....still on track to regain it
I love - Kimi Raikkonen :P ...
I believe - nobody's perfect but trying means a lot more than perfection
I dance- only at home... with my sis giving me "Oh god, what the hell is happening" looks
I lose- only to myself
I win - competing with myself
I cry- for the smallest of things... I'm too sentimental :P
I write- coz I dont know a better way to express myself
I always- make resolutions and break them with immediate effect :P
I dont always- like to be told what to do...nor do I like going to places of worship
I listen- to my is constantly talking to me...even now..says "What are you write this..write that..nooooo"
I can usually be found- at home reading a book in my room or in front of the PC or mausi's place (now that I dont work anymore)
I need- to learn to be more patient and control my mind
I am happy about- the fact that I am able to become sane after moments of insanity, instead of doing something really stupid
I imagine- I will have a complete control over my life really soon...and that imagination could well be a reality

Ok..I think I did OK with this blog....tagging anyone who wants to take it up... its a chance to introspect. Cheers!! :)

I'll try Again..

I'm totally against e-books...just dont like them at all. I have my reservations against them. Ashish gave me a link to this free e-books site (I'm not giving you the link...if you want free stuff, ask Ashish) . Out of curiosity, I was looking at all the titles that were available for free, when I came across this book called PANIC AND POETIC JUSTICE. Since I am someone in need of such books, I thought of downloading it (yes yes, go ahead and make judgements).

I found the book really nice (the only book I've ever read on the PC mind you). And I want to thank Ashish (now now Ashu dont get over cloud nine :P) . Here's a poem I really liked in the book. Just wanted to share.

Dedicated to all those with Panic Disorder. You are not alone.

Whenever life is
Hurt and Pain
Vision's blurred by bitter rain
It seems all hurt is surely gone
I tell myself
I must go on
At times I feel such deep despair
The burden more than I can bear
I can't see past another day
But still I must prepare the way
In times of doubt and fainting heart
When from this world I'd chose to part
I know not what the answers are
I must believe they're not too far
Whenever life has got me beat
Before I take the Grand defeat
I'll rise once more amidst the rain
And swear to all
I'll Try

Beyond Borders..

3rd May 1986

A girl is born to a banker in Hyderabad. She is the focus of everyone's attention. The Cynosure of all eyes. In times when many were still talking about the ill-fate of bearing a girl child, this girl was welcomed like a princess. A lot of hype was placed on her arrival into this world. Her Grandmother was probably the most excited being on this earth. She thought that this little girl would do wonders. She thought this little girl was the promise of the future..she thought a lot...

A boy is born in Karachi. He is as much a prince of his household. Born into priviledged surroundings, his family is sure he would some day be an academician and an amazing human being. His family has deep rooted family values and hopes that he will carry on the family tradition. Respect is what his family commands from others and respect is what they expect from him... he is their future...

Everyone is busy in their lives. The girl is on course to fulfiling her dreams and that of her dear ones. She is striving to find a meaning to her life, passing through the trials and tribulations of adoloscence, academics, of family, of failed attempts at love. She is full of hope that tomorrow will be a brighter day. The boy is intent on making his family happy too. He is doing well academically, showing the promise of a bright and secure future - just what his family wanted. He is a down to earth being, someone who has immense faith in the human spirit and its goodness.

Technology can do wonders. One day, 20 years on, their paths cross. A chance meet online brings together two diverse beings, born on the same day, on lands separated by borders. They exchange their views on their motherlands , their lives next and then rest of the "normal" talk (read : Movies, Music, Sports). One chat session after another, they realise that life is similar for them in more than one ways. He has his relatives living in her city. They inspire each other, and wonder together that why do people fight when in fact they are so similar. They cannot understand hatred. All they understand now and believe in, is their friendship. Together, they think they are capable of uniting the two nations -- He Quips "One day Shahrukh Khan can act in our movies with our actors and our directors and our actors will try their best to leave their mark in Mumbai".

History, Geography, Politics, Movies, Music....nothing is spared in their talks. She wants to visit Pakistan and watch the splenour of the beautiful valleys he talks about. She wants to taste the amazing food he talks about. He wants to visit India and visit the Taj Mahal, Goa and other popular destinations -- of course, he wants to come to Mumbai and hopes to catch a glimpse of his favourite Shahrukh Khan. Its a beautiful friendship -- where they have immense respect for one another, their culture and they are willing to listen to one another without being judgemental.

One day he gives her an exciting news. "I'm visiting my relatives in your city. I hope if its not too much trouble for you, can we meet?". She is very excited. She gives him her contact number, without batting an eyelid. She does not think it would do any harm. A few days pass and one day she recieves a call from an unknown number.

"It's me. Do you remember me? I'm in your city. Gosh I am so excited being here. This is the first time we are talkin to each other and your voice is exactly how I had thought of in my mind". She is amused and excited. He doesnt talk about meeting yet. He briefs her about the places he's visited, the number of movies he's seen in a multiplex. He turns into a sort of movie critic with his narration of the movies and their plots. This is the first time she realises the extent of his love for movies. And she realises, their taste in movies are pretty similar.

Time passes by, they talk on a daily basis. He is usually in a cheerful mood. He is amazed by the warmth he has recieved by people here. He is happy. One day, there are obvious signs of strain. He has an encounter with people who try to belittle him. They speak to him as if he is the most loathsome creature from an uncivilised nation. He is hurt. He cannot see his identity tarnished. He cannot bear the bad things being spoken about his motherland. He listens quietly. He does not tell them anything. He has been taught to respect a host - and he does not wish to offend his hosts by retorting back. He is calm on the outside, but inside, he is screaming.

He talks to her the next morning. He tells her what happened. She tries to console him. But he is hurt way too much. He has been branded a terrorist. No matter what she says, the hurt just doesnt seem to go away. He wants to go back home. He asks her if she'd like to meet. She says Yes.

She informs her family of her plans to meet him. Her family is always aware of what she does and whom she meets. This is no different. She does not view him differently. She wants to meet him like she meets any other friend of hers. Her family is not ready. They think meeting him will land her in trouble. She is hurt by the fact that her family can think this way. She is fuming mad at her parents for being so narrow minded. When she cools down, she realises that they are saying this because of they do not wish anything untoward to happen to her. After all, she was the one who had told her family that he is required to report to police every few days as part of their visitation requirements. Her family is very skeptical and now she is in two minds.

She keeps post-poning her plans. They talk often and everytime he asks her, she lies about an urgent work or something else. Days pass by and she is unable to decide what to do. He keeps telling her that he will be leaving shortly. She wants to meet him before he leaves but the dilemma of hurting her family keeps her from taking any further action.

One day he talks to her. He tells her about the fact that he understands why she is unable to meet him. He says it is natural for parents to be worried and it would be better if we dont meet. He tells her that she has taught him a million things, has been a really good friend of his and he will always treasure knowing her. He tells her that he knows her well enough without meeting, so it does not matter if we meet or dont. He does not want her to think too much. She feels a bit relieved and also, a bit disappointed at the fact that she cannot keep her promise she made to him.

His phone is continually switched off after that. She tries for a few days, leaves him messages online but no response. She thinks he has gone away and will probably contact in a few days. And he does. One day her cell phone beeps and that familiar name appears in her inbox: "I'm leaving in about half hour for my country. Its been really nice visiting here. Although there were some bad memories, I'm only taking away all the happy ones and the good experiences I had here. Cant wait to share them with my friends there. I hope I was not too much trouble for you. I'm sorry if I hurt you in anyway. You have been a good friend and I ask allah to keep you happy forever. I hope you forgive me for any trouble I caused unknowingly or knowingly"

She tries to call him back but his phone is in the switch off mode again. She tries a while and finally realises that he wont talk again. She knows he's gone.

In the days that follow, she writes to him many times. She enquires about his family, about him and about how his studies are going on. After many days, he responds, and he writes her some of the best things she's ever heard. It moves her to tears that there can be some beings as wonderful as him. And yet, some cynics can only brand them as fundamentalists.

That letter is the last conversation they have. It binds them forever as friends, even after that fact that they both know they will never have another conversation for the longest of time. It does not sadden either of them. They are hopeful that life will move on beautifully. Whenever she reads a movie review, She thinks about the guy who lives across the border. She hopes that one day, there would be a chance meeting... hopes that one day these man made borders will be resolved, across the landscape and across our hearts. And that the world will be as beautiful a place as he painted it out to her.

Ram and Ali...

Who r v?

Who's Hindu?

Who's Muslim?

Wen there's "Ali" in Diw-ali and "Ram: in Ram-zan

Help India in being United

Spread this SMS as far as u can, Vandemataram

This is one of the usual SMSes that you get during Independence/Republic Day...or during any sporting achievement...that's when the whole patriotic zeal is at its peak. Oh, I forgot to mention, this also happens during terrorist attacks when everyone is fuming mad at "FOREIGN ELEMENTS" and "ANTI-NATIONAL ELEMENTS". Anyways, so the above mentioned was the SMS that Divya sent me a few mins ago... I'm sure plenty of such messages will start reachin my inbox by midnight tonight. All Hail the Patriotic ferver.

What happens after such days go by?? We start lampooning the system, blasting everyone and everything and blaming anyone that we can find. Rang De Basanti had a good message..If you have a problem with the system, be a part of the system and change it...the movie's a history, the message is soon becoming a history. Every country has their share of problems, everyone deals with them in their own way. Why do we keep complaining?

I will tell you what disgusts me the most. When a person asks me "What caste are you? Are you a north Indian or a Southie? Northies are so and so and southies are so and so..." I mean, enough already. I'm a human being...digest that. Most of us, as kids, have been taught about our respective religions-- Many of us, at least a few of them that I know, have been taught "You're a Hindu, You're different from a Muslim"... Many were encouraged to make friends in their own religion. Many girls I knew were adviced that they get a groom in their own caste and religion. I don't know about my friends on the blogosphere, but it certainly holds true for many I knew personally.

Unfortunately I have elder brothers at home who lambast muslims... the hypocrites that they are, they have their best friends who practise Islam. I am not saying that my brother's are bad...they aren't good either. My maternal grandmother has something against muslims and Pakistanis too. I have tried to talk to her many a times, telling her about the amazing friends I have, who are muslims, but we never went out to be friends with them asking their religion. She always has this "You have not seen what we saw during the days of would be difficult for you to understand". I am sure is already very difficult to understand their psyche.

I have told my mom, I would have no problem marrying a muslim...if he's a good person, someone I am compatible with, I could care less about religion. Mom is not religiously inclined, but dad is. Mom says this fact out to a few family friends, just to see their reaction. I am also interested in those reactions which range from utter disbelief to "are you nuts", "are you joking", "you're just saying for the heck of saying it". I've never recieved a single positive response to the whole deal. What I do get is comparisons to the recent Rizwanur Rehman-Priyanka Todi case....and I am not even close to thinking of marrying ANYONE right now. Late last year, a Pakistani chat friend was visiting India, my hometown at that...and he asked me for my number...which I gave without hesitation (I think I trusted very easily...some would call me stupid, but I think I had chatted enough with the guy to understand that he wasn't a "TERRORIST").

He called me up when he was here. We spoke often and he told me how he loved the city and it felt like home...except that it was a bit modern here. He loved the malls, he said and he loved the food. He wanted to go to Agra to see Taj Mahal but they need to get permission to travel to other cities too (I didnt know about this fact). One of his remarks -"The Police treat us like Terrorists..we have to report to the station every few days... and we are asked questions that sort of unsettle us". I found that was really bad on our part. He asked me if I would meet him and take him sight seeing. I said I would. When I told about it to my parents, mom told me dad was skeptical. I couldnt bear to tell him that my parents thought that meeting him would land me in trouble. I kept avoiding him.

I had a chat with him after a few days, and he was in a bad mood. He had finally begun to miss home. He said in the beginning, everyone was good to him. Then they started to compare India and Pakistan, he was deeply hurt that people have a very low opinion about Pakistan. He said "People think all the people there hate India and all of us are is not like that.. we are not primitive cavemen... why cant normal people here think of us as normal human beings and not as Pakistanis or Terrorists or Muslims or whatever". It was the first time I had felt ashamed at my fellow human beings. Even Gujarat Riots didnt rattle me as much as this chat.

He went back, and we never spoke again.

Bottom line is, we keep talking about Uniting a divided India. Its not impossible. Initially I had thought about changing the past and present generation's views on religion. Its a sad reality that past cannot be changed. The present and future is in our hands. And we can do a lot to make it a bright one. Lets not teach our children differentiation...let them be free in their choice.. lets just teach them about the innate goodness that is present in every human being. Lets just warn them about the bad things in the world, and not put a label to it as "So and So did it for So and So reasons and they are so and so". Lets not give anyone or any religion a bad name. Peace to the world...and HAPPY INDEPENDENCE India and Pakistan.

Rock On!!

Yeah Yeah, I couldn't have gotten more obvious than this now. Well, needless to say, I am soooo in love with the songs of this movie. Everone who's chatted with me recently, has had a dose of "DID YOU HEAR ROCK ON SONGS?? I AM SO IN LOVE WITH FARHAN NOW...WHAT?? YOU DIDN'T HEAR?? WHAT ON EARTH WERE YOU DOING?"

Yeah, Over the top...that's just me. When I love something...I can go crazy trying to promote it... :P And I just LOVE these songs so damn much...just cant help but humm them all day long.

Here's the brilliant video of my favourite song from the movie...PICHHLE SAAT DIN. It has this proper Rock song video theme...just amazing amazing amazing...ok now let me stop giving my views.

You watch and decide for yourself...cant wait for 29th August when the movie releases...

Meri laundry ka ek bill,
Ek aadhi padhi novel
Na na na na na..
Na na na na na..

Ek ladki ka phone number,
Mere kaam ka ek paper
Na na na na na..
Na na na na na..

Mere taash se heart ka king
Mera ek chaandi ka ring
Pichhle saat dinon mein maine khoya
Kabhi khud pe hasaa main aur Kabhi khud pe roya
Na na na na na na na na na na…
Na na na na na na na na na na…

Present mili ek ghadi,
Pyari thi mujhe badi
Na na na na na..
Na na na na na..

Meri jeb ka ek packet,
Meri denim ki jacket
Na na na na na..
Na na na na na..

Do one day match ke passes
Mere naye naye sun-glasses
Pichhle saat dinon mein maine khoya
Kabhi khud pe hasaa main aur Kabhi khud pe roya

Kaise bhoolun, saatwaan jo din aaya
Kisi ne tumse ik party mein milwaaya
Kaisa pal tha jis pal maine tumko pehli baar dekha tha
Hum jo mile pehli baar, Maine jaana kya hai pyaar
Maine hosh bhi khoya dil bhi khoya
Kabhi khud pe hasaa main aur Kabhi khud pe roya
Na na na na na na na na na na…
Na na na na na na na na na na…
Maine pichhle saat dino mein Ye sab hai khoya

TAGGED Again..

Hmm.... All thanks to Hemanth .... :D Been tagged after a really long time. So here's what my response to the mosaic tag looks like. I had loads of fun doing it...though some pics I wasnt too keen on putting...I think, overall it came across quite nicely.

The questions were as follows :

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food right now?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. What is your favorite drink?
7. What is your dream vacation?
8. What is your favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. What is one word that describes you?
12. What is your user name

And here are the answers.... (refer notes to the questions if you cannot find out the answer looking at the pictures... :P...)

1. My Name - SMRITI -- Memory.,
2. My Fav Food these days - Fried Noodles- Noodles,
3. School I went to - Harvard Public School-- Harvard dorms near old Harvard Yard - Des dortois près du old Harvard Yard - Unos dormitorios cerca de Harvard Square,
4.Fav Color - Lavendor-- 100_2116,
5. Celebrity Crush -- Kimi Raikkonen--ALL TIME CRUSH :D Kimi Raikkonen at US Grand Prix 2007,
6. Fav Drink -- Fruit Punch-- Pineapple & Mango Fruit Juice,
7. Dream Vacation -- Egypt -- (0395) Giza Plateau Egypt,
8. Fav Dessert -- Belgian Dark Chocolate Pastry- mocha,
9. What I wanna be when I grow up-- Journalist (like Anderson Cooper...admire him loads) Anderson Cooper Ad,
10.Love most in life -- Family -- family day out,
11. Word that describes me the most-- Passionate (abt everything) Passionate,
12. Username: Apart from my maiden name...there's DOLL Too :P -- Doll

This tag is done and dusted...I hereby tag, Divya, Nithin, Ashish...and anyone else who wants to take up this tag...HAPPY BLOGGING!! ;)

Wonderous, Wonderful...Well...

I couldn't think of a title. No seriously. Today was my first weekend in months, which I spent with a friend. And a new one at that. Let me start from the beginning.

Four days ago, as I logged into my gtalk, I was surprised to find someone I didn't know, sending me an add request. Since blogger is the only place where my gtalk id is displayed, I figured out it must've been someone who's just been to my blog.

No sooner did I add the person, I got a "Hi" from the other end. I remember being in a highly spirited mood, for reasons best known to me, and I promptly responded with a chirpy "Hi". Nornally, I'd start my usual grilling, coz, well, as they say net isnt the place to trust just anyone. For no reason at all, I began talking to him like he was a long lost friend.

I felt at ease talking to him, spoke about blogs, books and other stuff. Out of nowhere I initiated and asked him for his number and spoke to him. It felt really nice talking to someone, and just... dunno... a feeling that I already know him. Anyways, talking on the phone was alright, but I shcoked myself and asked him if he'd like to meet. Believe me, I am not someone to just act on impulse and ask to meet someone just like that. I have had online friends living a few kms away from me, and yet I haven't met then, even though we have been chatting for 2-3 years.

So, with my TCMS exam done and dusted, I called him up and confirmed our plans for the meet. I met him up this saturday. He was new to the city so I was supposed to be the tour guide. I wouldve showed him around the places of interest in the city, but I was too tired myself. I decided to sit down and have a talk instead.

I called him at the Prasad's Imax multiplex. But it was way too crowded and I dont like crowded places. Especially when meeting friends and for quiet chats. We decided tomove away from there to Eat Street on Necklace Road. We ate a little and then moved to other parts of the Necklace Road, for a quiet conversation.

I thought he might get bored of the place in a short while. Necklace road is a huge stretch off road around the Hussain Sagar Lake. It is also known for couples hanging out together. I didnt care for the latter reputation. It was peaceful and beautiful and I was quiet enjoying myself there. He spoke a lot more...he rather than me. I began to think about his perspective and his view on things. The more he spoke, the more I realised that he was a very together person and supremely confident of himself.

Amidst our talks, we were rudely distrubed by people (mostly men) howling...why do they do that?? Cant a guy and a girl sit and talk without being thought about as a "couple"?? Seriously, I just dont get it. Anyways, as I mentioned earlier, I thought he might have gotten bored of the place. But I couldn't be more wrong. He said he liked the place...the weather was fine too and it was a good day to spend time outdoors, at leisure.

We sat talking for about 3 hours (yeah yeah most people might think that you coud've watched a movie in that time....I dont care). And I was really glad that I met this friend of mine. I didnt do it on impulse. I guess there was that something that told me to go and meet him. I am glad that I met him and spent that afternoon just talking for a long time. A lot of serious talks, a lot of not so serious talks. In the end, I realised that I had found a really nice person for a friend, someone who knows himself well, is confident, a great speaker, knows his abilities and his shortcomings, and cracks better jokes than he thinks.

Oh and Yeah. Talking about the rude disturbances between our chats, there was this bunch of girls that was loitering around where we sat. One of them comes up to him and asks, "Excuse me, are you both brother and sister?". I was tongue-tied but he just replied, "YA". It was fun to see a bewildered expression on the girl's face while others went crazy laughing. We had a good laugh ourselves and he admitted that this was the funniest part of the meet. I took leave and we've been talking on a daily basis now. Both of us had kind of expected to bore each other, but then again it wasnt meant to be. I think we found for ourselves, a new friend, a new discussion, a new agreement, a new disagrement and hopefully in future, there will be more good than bad to this friendship.

Oh..I forgot to mention...His name is Ashish Surana..and you'll find him on ;)

Cheers to you and our friendship Ashish!! ;)
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