It seemed to rain everywhere...Delhi, Kolkatta, Bangalore...and I was wondering aloud why it doesnt rain here.
As a kid, I had a theory. It is not supposed to rain in summers. To my amazement, and if you may call it a co-incidence, it so happened that it rained everytime I cried my heart out. Only in summers. Dadi used to say, "See, the gods are crying with you. They can see your pain and they are telling you, you are not alone. Now stop crying or there'll be floods." I thought myself to be a rain goddess of sorts. The things that we think as kids. :)
Anyways, so last night I was chatting with Alok and he said it was raining in Bangalore. Oh how I wished it rained here too. As with me, mood swings have been a norm lately and yesterday night, I let the flood-gates open, FINALLY. I tried in vain to sleep. I managed to get some sleep in the end and woke up with swollen eyes.... Mom asked, "Didnt you sleep last night?". Not very well Ma.
As I exited my room, I could smell the cool fresh air of the earth awash with rain. I was instantly struck with the thoughts of my childhood and my grandma. I did my morning routine of preparing breakfast and getting Mom's tiffin from outside. I stepped out of the house to find that it has started to rain...I got the tiffin, came back home and off I went to the terrace.
I stood there amidst the sudden downpour. I told Alok last night, "the rain seems to wash away all the worry from my head". And so it did today, yet again. I stood in the rain and I cried and I cried. I cried for everything I'd lost, I cried for being such a fool, I cried over something I never had....I just cried. The rain stopped, as suddenly as it had started. I heard a voice, it was my own. It said, "Enough of crying now... You are not alone. There are millions like you. Here are the million tear drops from heaven. You are not alone...You are not alone. Stop crying now!".
And I did. I waited a few minutes on the terrace, lest mom should see through me and this time the reddenned eyes would betray me. I stood there for a few minutes and the heaven sent me another message.... "The sun has risen, so must you".
The first ray of bright sunshine hit my forehead and said, "Lets make your life 'BRIGHTER THAN SUNSHINE' shall we?". And so... I'm gonna do it my way!
P.S. Diva, my sunshine... as always, gives me my first smiles of a totally pathetic morning. Now I know I hava a brighter day in store, thanks to the virtual HUGS and SMILES. Mwah!! Love you!!