The Woes and Joy of getting a Driving Licence

18th November 2008

I gripped the steering wheel of a rickety-over-500-people-driven Indica that the driving school had provided me with   (Kimi had been begging me not to take up the classes ...he's scared you see.... He thinks  I might beat Danica Patrick to an F1 seat in a few years ..He He He...and he's worried Ferrari might sign me up...Hehehe!!)

18th February 2009

I gave my driving test and passed... I can now officially drive on the Indian roads at least...No Super licence yet...But Kimi...you better watch out!! :P :P

Ok the classes shouldn't take so long to complete but this was yet another typically laid-back Hyderabadi attitude, both on the behalf of the instructor and myself. I missed too many classes in between and he didnt turn up for a few coz "its too cold in December to wake up at 6"... Heck, was he teaching me drive on a hill station?? 

I'd been pretty confident of driving by mid-January and I kept asking him to book my slot with another student who was supposed to go around the same time. The instructor kept postponing my slot and two weeks ago he informed me that I'll have to give the test on a Maruti 800. My turn to freak out.

Its a drastic shift from Diesel to Petrol vehicle and I wasnt too confident of driving the Maruti 800, especially after bumping Mom's car into that of our neighbours. I refrained from trying out the Maruti and kept practicing on the Indica. So when he said I'd have to drive a Maruti, I asked him to give me a little more time. He was more than happy to do so. I tried mom's car, once ALMOST crashing into the main gate. Sunday we had a long session and I drove the car for a good distance to gain some confidence. Yesterday I drove the Indica on my way back home, and my driver said in his heavy North-eastern accent : 

"Ma'am, aap chalaa lega gaadi.... tenshun mat lo" (Ma'am you will drive well, dont stress).

 I asked : "Main fail to nahi ho jaungi na, aise gaadi chala kar?" (Would I fail if I drive this way?) 

And he said: "Nai Madam...Phel to nahi hote...aaraam se chalao" (No, You wont fail...just drive with ease)

I called up my instructor and told him I was ready to give my test today. He asked me to be at the Driving track at Nagole by 8 in the Morning. I reached by 7.30 and called up this person I was asked to contact. He came fashionably late at 8.40 and gave me my papers. I sat for a while, saw the track layout and tried to understand it. I was worried about the reverse track, which seemed very tricky. 

Kept getting more and more nervous. Tried to calm myself by deep breathing techniques learnt at the ART OF LIVING class. I said, the worst that'll happen is I'll fail. No problem. Come back in 7 days and give test again. Practice more. Meanwhile Alankar called me up and wished me luck. He helped me lighten up my mood and I felt at ease. 

At 10, I was asked to go and give my test. I had managed everything well. The S-Track, 8-roundabout track. Then came the H-Reverse track.  Managed the first 3 parts of the reverse and forward quite well, but messed up on the last part. Not completely messed up, but I didnt take the turn as it was supposed to be taken. Got out of that section, went on the Ghat-type-road segment to the last stretch of the track and out of it. Once I parked and went to the cabin, the officer smiled and said, "You goofed up a little on the reverse, but good presence of mind". He smiled back and stamped a "PASSED" on my forms and receipt. Then he said, "Why taking so much tension, relax now. I'm not scaring you by any chance, am I?". 

I had to let out something that I was refraining from telling him. I told him that 3 years ago, me and 2 other friends had come for the 2-wheeler licence and he was one of the officers taking the test that day. He had failed one of my friends for not taking one particular turn, and after I messed up the reverse, I thought he would fail me this time. He just laughed it off and said "Congratulations. Have a good day". It was a good experience this time around. People seemed much more co-operative all of a sudden. My last few experiences at RTAs have been real bad with in-charges shouting for no reason.

I called up Papa and told him that I had passed and the licence would come via courier in 2-3 days. Papa said now I have to drive more often and take the car into traffic as many times as possible. Hyderabad traffic....I have the licence....to add to your woes....grrr!! But..Yipeeee!! :)

Cheers! :)

The Art of Living....and Loving

CAUTION: Big Big post.... exercise discretion, I would not take any blame for anyone falling asleep while reading this post. :P

A lot has been going around and within me lately that just disturbed my soul and inner peace to no end. So when papa decided the entire family would go for THE ART OF LIVING basic course, I said why not give it a try. On 9th February, I woke up at 5 am to attend this course and not without my doubts. Confused about my status between being an athiest or agnostic, I went into the couse thinking this would be one of those rare days the entire family would be together....for 6 days.

I must admit, the sessions that started at 5.30 everyday and went on till 8 in the morning, were fun. There were plenty of other people in the class and at the end of day one, all of us knew each other by our smiles. Though we had all said our names to each other before the class commenced and I could recollect only a few by the end of day three, I just knew that I'd get a smile on my face in the company of these complete strangers. We did the breathing exercise called "Sudarshan Kriya" and experienced something different....not everyone had a similar experience but everyone had something to share. Positive and Negative.

I went the first 3 days without any fuss but the 4th day I just didnt feel like going. It was 4.30 am on the morning of 12th and I was sitting at this very place writing my previous blog post and whining and grumbling about the thing that has been slowly eating me from within, for the past few months. The rest of the day went fine and I spent it with Diva watching Dev D, eating yummy gobi pakoras her mom had made. I got back home and just kept feeling that the hours arent passing by quickly enough. Something was missing. I enjoyed a lot with Diva but then there was this sudden emptyness that crept in and I just didnt know what was wrong. I went to bed that night thinking I am not going back to the ART OF LIVING class. It felt foolish that I was enjoying myself in moments and it doesnt help me overcome these sudden moments of anxiety, fear and depression. 

The next morning I chose to go just so that I dont anger my dad. After all it was just two more days and I might as well go there. And I am glad I did.

In the class, apart from the breathing exercise, they make us play games too that might seem childish to outsiders. I am not going to delve into details here coz there are two many of them to write. Each game we played told a story and had a moral...something that makes us look deeper into our inner selves and ask ourselves some burning questions, the answers for which we keep expecting from the outside world. On day 5, I went into the class and we had yet another activity to do.

We were divided into groups of 3 -- 2 males and a female. We sat in a huddle and told our life stories to each other with the promise that these stories would remain within the group. One of the member in my group, Niroop, had something to say about his life, wife and family that reminded me a little of what I had been going through for the past few days. I thought he has been through something similar and I should ask him about it. Since each one of us were given our 5 mins quota to tell our stories and Niroop's being the last one, our gurus had started telling us about how no one is free of problems and that everyone has faced hurdles in some form or another. Until that moment, I was going to the ART OF LIVING class just to get the worth of my Rs 1000, but it changed a little bit in the moment. 

I sat next to Niroop and shared my reasons for coming to the class and he sat down patiently and listened to me. It was time to go and we were all asked to get something to eat for the next day coz it would be an extended session. We were all asked to bring a gift, something small would do, for a "divine guru" who was going to come the next day. Else we were free to buy something from the gift shop they'd put up the next day. I made Coleslaw sandwiches and decided we would buy gift from the gift shop.

Today we went on doing our routine of the pranayams and the breathing exercise and there were some stories that our gurus and the guest gurus told us all. A lot of them dealing with H.H.Sri Sri Ravi Shanker and some relating to personal experiences of our gurus. Once that session was done, we were asked to get our gifts from the gift shop. I picked up a book called Tales for the Young and the elderly. We all assumed that these would go to the gurus and the guest gurus who had come.

We were all asked to close our eyes, no peeking. They played a music and asked us to slowly move around the hall with our eyes closed. We had to keep moving till the music stopped. So we all did, bumping into each other occassionally, not knowing who we were passing. And then they stopped the music and asked us to stand still wherever we were, slowly open our eyes and look at the person standing nearest to us. What followed next just brought tears to my eyes.

When I opened my eyes, I saw the same two group members that I had huddled with and we were standing almost as close as we sat in the group yesterday. The three of us were just so happy to see each other while the gurus asked us to exchange our gift with the person standing closest to us. Niroop was standing closest to me so I gave him the book I had picked up and playfully asked him for my gift. And Niroop just told me, "I didnt get anything but all I can say is  I wish you all the happiness in the world and with all my heart I hope you overcome everything that has been disturbing you. I'm giving you the love in my heart and I truly want you to find your peace". That was the moment I couldn't control my tears. 

Here was a person, the only thing I knew about him was his name and what he did for a living. Yesterday he gave me a glimpse into his life and that is all there was to it. Today he was honestly and with all his heart, telling me that things would be alright and that it matters to someone....it matters to the universe that I stay happy. These were the tears of joy. This was a moment when I know whatever  I have held inside me for all these months, just got flushed out with all the tears and I feel at such peace right now that I cannot express in words.

I am not getting any more spiritual. Yet.

I am not getting any more philosophical. Yet.

I am not advocating the ART OF LIVING course. Yet.

I do not revere Sri Sri Ravi Shanker any more than I revere the next person. Yet.

But I know for sure something changed in me today. I know I felt something different. And something is just glowing within me right now. I do not know what that is. As of now, I would call it the Art of Loving myself for who I am and the realisation that things would be alright. I just need to have a little faith. Miracles can happen, small or big. I had one today and I hope to give it back to the nature someday.

The experience of these 6 days I would treasure for a long time till I decide on taking the next level of this course. But what Niroop said would stay with me for a lifetime and I must show my gratitude to him here at this very moment. And to all my blog reader, the sad, sombre Smriti got washed away in a tear spell.... I promise to give you a brand new bubbling, lively Smriti who loves herself now more than ever and someone who will no longer give in to circumstances.

On this day, I promise to be my own Valentine forever. I promise to be happy and spread happiness. I found something beautiful within me today and someday I will witness the miracle of someone else finding something special in them too. I'm smiling with all my heart as I write this post and I vow to maintain this smile. :)

Happy Valentines Day everyone....and my heartfelt gratitude to everyone who commented on my previous post. Really appreciate it. 

OK. No more boring you today. Be back as frequently as possible with renewed vigour and enthusiasm :)

Cheers everyone..... :)

Back to my senses

Ok. So the rambling early saturday morning was real stupid. I wasnt writing a story, no suspense intended. Was just plain frustrated and couldn't sleep. Monday morning I started the art of living course and it as been alright thus far. I meant the course. I would have been back to normal in any which case.

So its the D-Day today. And I'm not as fidgety or uncomfortable as I was on Saturday night. The reason for the all the stupidness?? Well someone I've known forever, is getting married today. I cannot attend the wedding coz it can get a little awkward. No I do not love him. Saying this for the nth time. But there are reasons which to the outsider, may never seem clear.

He decided to cut the cords of 12 yrs of friendship when the marriage was fixed and I was blamed for being insensitive when I asked questions. It is hard to let go of friends. Especially someone you've known since you were a kid. All the memories of revising lessons together, filling slam books, eating ice creams, running around like fools as kids.... to sharing family issues, health issues and every other issue....just come as a flashback. Sari bua says you feel bad coz it is the loss of a relationship and no one wants to feel that loss.

I had something in mind to gift him. Something he gave me as a mark of our ever-lasting friendship. But I cannot go to the wedding. I will dedicate a blog to him tonight. Hope he reads it someday.

Ok I'm not sombre anymore. Me and Divya are meeting up today and we'll have a lot of time to spend with each other. Like old days. Haven't done it in the longest of times and I think I've taken her too much for granted. We are going to watch Dev D... lunch before that...Maybe window shopping after that. OK OK. I'm going....gotta start getting ready, its a one hour drive from home.

Updates on the way. And I'm feeling better :)