Going Back in Time

What is the worse thing that happens to you when you are just sitting around and trying to concentrate on a really important thing at hand? Here are am, supposedly trying to concentrate on revision for my exam tomorrow, and this is what is striking me. I am constantly going into a derilious past from time to time. I think it has got something to do the many sleepless nights over the past few days.

What I remembered today may also be due to the fact that an aunt of mine has been pestering me to take up teaching as a profession, at the International School she teaches in. She said she'll recommend me for Economics (I won't deny that I am good at the subject and I have more than enough experience of teaching my friends, in return for yummy food everyday). Teaching a class full of kids might be quite intimidating and I must say I am not even considering this option as I am Chicken.

I am trying hard to fill my head with Accounting Standards and here comes the vision of my schooling days, Class 9 and 10. Everyone says it is the most important time of a student's life as a lot of crucial studying is done leading upto the Class 10 board exams. I don't remember the time when I was supposedly a part of that rigorous curriculum. It seems to have just flown past me, while I was seemingly very stationary. I don't remember a thing I learned or any event from school in those days, funny enough as I remember so many things upto Class 8.

That may plainly have to do something with the fact that I had lost 4 very dearly loved ones in the span of less than a year. One due to prolonged illness and the other three shock departures. Living a joint family, losing two uncles in consecutive months, then losing grandfather and grandmother, was probably the most difficult period of my life. And all through, my studies suffered. There were so many people in the house, yet I felt so alone. The most important thing I learnt at that time would have to be to show emotions, whatever they may be. Keeping them locked up did more harm than good.

I was shifted from the A section, that was supposed to be the place where all the "Bright & Intelligent" students were put up, to B section which as you may have guessed was for students needing more attention in studies. I had been a fairly good student throughout, always in the top ten. And to be shifted to Section B was a sort of a blow. Just like other Section A students, I had never interacted too much with the Section B students. I was initially scared at the prospect of losing friends and worse, having no friends at all in my new class.

I regard being sent to Section B as one of the best things to have happened to me in my schooling days. I topped my class, as expected, and scored better than most students in Section A. I had learnt to fight back from being pushed down. I was determined to get back to Section A at any cost. But the best thing I had learnt was a lesson in friendship. I made friends with the entire Section B and they welcomed me there with open arms. I wasn't the topper of my section yet when I became their friend. They didn't want to befriend the toppers, they wanted to befriend me. I had some support.

The only place I was disappointed was the teachers. I was treated shabbily to say the least. Branded as a failure for being shifted to Section B, I was seen only as the student shifted. No one had bothered to see the reason for decline in my performance. I see all these english movies where they have counsellors and all, I think our education system surely needs one. Teachers these days hardly command any respect and that needs to change. Teachers need to be role models and inculcate good virtues and instill confidence among their students. I felt so let down in those days, had it not been for the support of friends, I dont think I'd have even cleared my class 10.

I always want to be a good role model, for anyone who is looking for one. Teaching is a noble profession and I would love to be a part of it. But I am not ready yet I guess. I still have some time on my hand and I would like to explore that possibility in the future. Someday.

I'm wondering if anything written here makes any sense, but then, Life itself....makes no sense.

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