Back to my senses

Ok. So the rambling early saturday morning was real stupid. I wasnt writing a story, no suspense intended. Was just plain frustrated and couldn't sleep. Monday morning I started the art of living course and it as been alright thus far. I meant the course. I would have been back to normal in any which case.

So its the D-Day today. And I'm not as fidgety or uncomfortable as I was on Saturday night. The reason for the all the stupidness?? Well someone I've known forever, is getting married today. I cannot attend the wedding coz it can get a little awkward. No I do not love him. Saying this for the nth time. But there are reasons which to the outsider, may never seem clear.

He decided to cut the cords of 12 yrs of friendship when the marriage was fixed and I was blamed for being insensitive when I asked questions. It is hard to let go of friends. Especially someone you've known since you were a kid. All the memories of revising lessons together, filling slam books, eating ice creams, running around like fools as kids.... to sharing family issues, health issues and every other issue....just come as a flashback. Sari bua says you feel bad coz it is the loss of a relationship and no one wants to feel that loss.

I had something in mind to gift him. Something he gave me as a mark of our ever-lasting friendship. But I cannot go to the wedding. I will dedicate a blog to him tonight. Hope he reads it someday.

Ok I'm not sombre anymore. Me and Divya are meeting up today and we'll have a lot of time to spend with each other. Like old days. Haven't done it in the longest of times and I think I've taken her too much for granted. We are going to watch Dev D... lunch before that...Maybe window shopping after that. OK OK. I'm going....gotta start getting ready, its a one hour drive from home.

Updates on the way. And I'm feeling better :)